I Hate You
by MeltingHoneyTea
Summary: This is a series of I Hate Yous starred by Sesshoumaru. SessKag and other pairings in this oneshot series. Rated T for Potty mouth
1. Chapter 1

I Hate You 

Bisho: OHAYO! This is my one shot! I love one shots BUT I love bishounenz more! Esp. Sesshy kun! Look! (POINTS)  
Sess: (Comes out in dress and makeup)  
Bisho: (Guffaws) Isn't that cooote?  
Sess: No. Get it off.  
Bisho: No.  
Sess: (Rips dress to shreds)  
Bisho: MEANIE! I spent $39.95 on that dresssss...(Stares at Sess)  
Sess: (Runs into room)  
Bisho: He was n-n-nak-k-k...

Disclaimer: Do not own Inuyasha or anything in this one shot.

"I hate you."

"Come on Sesshoumaru! Don't be a spoilsport!"

"It's all your fault. I hate you."

"Fine put the blame on me. You did it too, and what a nice action it was!"

"Keep that big mouth of yours shut. It's all your fault we're stuck here. In the cold and dark. What if we get found by thieves that have come to rob this place?"

"Or beauties! Think of it Sesshoumaru. Hot babes!"

"We're stuck in a closed mall, tied up and taped to the poles. And you still can think of that. But you are a pervert, Miroku."

"Well...They can take us for a ride..."

"I hate you. It was all your fault. If you hadn't told me to grip Kagome's butt I wouldn't be in this damned position."

"I did grip Sango after you did it to Kagome."

"I'm lucky that Kagome is soft hearted. Sango beat you up into a pulp of mashed potatoes."

"Dont put it that way! It was a token of her affection!"

"Still, she beat you up."

"True"

Silence.

"I hate you."

"Now don't go saying that again."

"What else can we do now?"

"Sleep!"

"I don't want this damned pole as my bed. I want my king sized water bed. I hate you."

"You don't think I want my comfort bed?"

"Yes. I'm very sure that you are contented after the gripping of the butt."

"True."

More Silence.

"I really really hate you."

"Stop saying that! There is a reasonal explanation for this. My hand is-"

"What do you have in your pockets?"

"Nothing but a mint, a pocket sized book, a scissors, a-"

"A scissors. You idiot."

"What about the scissors?"

"We could have all gotten out in seconds but you had to forget that you had a pair of scissors in your pocket. Can you move your hands?"

"Yes. Hang on."

Abit of Shuffling.

"I GOT IT! Its in my hand!"

"Now carefully move it- I said carefully, move it to the tape and-"

CLANG!

"Oops."

"I Hate You. I Really Really Hate You."

"I know. I hate myself too."

END.

Bisho: Sorry for OOC! But it was quite funny. I was inspired by the author which made the one on Sessh and his dad, but I altered it abit, well actually, alot. This is AU, not CU, and it's Miroku and Sesshoumaru, instead of Inutashio and Sesshoumaru. I think I'm going to start a series of "I hate you"s with Sesshoumaru on different pairings. What do you think? Anyway, remember to review!


	2. Chapter 2

I Hate You Chp 2

Bisho: OHAYOOOOO!! I'm back with chapter two. This time, Sesshoumaru is stuck with...YOUKO KURAMA!  
Sess: Don't lie.  
Bisho: Fine he's stuck with Banky.  
Sess: Well, it's better than Naraku.  
Bisho: CHANGE OF PLANS. Sess is stuck with Narapoo.  
Sess: Oh shit.  
Bisho: BWAHAHAHAAA! Read peeps!

Disclaimer: You know dudes, I own Inuyasha! NOT!

"I hate you."

"How sweet; I love you too."

"Shut up. This is all your fault we're stuck in this lift. I'll bang my head sooner or later if we don't get outta here."

"Sorry."

"You, being the lazy one, had to take the lift."

"I'm sorry."

"We couldn't take the stairs. We just had to take the lift!"

"I already said I'm sorry; what else do you want me to do? Parade around naked?"

"No. That'll make me hypervandilate. Go die and I'll cry for joy."

"Serious?"

"No."

"So..."

"I Hate You. We could have been at my girlfriend's party by now."

"So? At least your girlfriend will forgive you. Mine's gonna kill me."

"Kagura has always been tough."

"So..."

"Do you have your mobile phone? Mine's in the car."

"I dunno..."

Lyrics of "My Humps" are played.

"Hello? Oh hey Kagura! Wassup?"

"TELL HER WE'RE STUCK!"

"Nothing much just hanging around with-"

BANG!

"Sorry Kagura Naraku's head is currently smashed into the lift. We're stuck can you call- Hello? Hello?"

"Owwww. What happened?"

"Your phone's outta battery."

"Yeah, forgot to charge again."

"I Hate You."

"Thanks."

(4 Hours Later)

"GOD WE'RE SAVED!"

"Naraku, you can stop being so dramatic now."

"Fine. It's a miracle we didn't die!"

"There was an air vent and air conditioner?"

"I knew that. In fact I was going to say that. Don't steal my lines!"

"Shut up. I've missed Kagome's party and it's all your fault."

"Kagura's gonna kill me."

"I certainly hope she does."

"I hate you."

"I hate you more. Hate you hate you hate you."

"I know. You've ssaid it 279 times."

"Let me say it one more time before I drive to Kagome's house and apologise to her. I. Hate. You."

Silence. (After Sess left)

"I think I went deaf from all that I Hate Yous."

END.

Bisho: Sorry for OOC and corny. Remember to Review! If I get 5-10, I'll do another 2 or 1 chapter. Your deadline is next Saturday or Friday. Ready, Set, Go!! 


	3. Chapter 3

I Hate You Chp 3 

Bisho: Ohayo. This is the 3rd chap now! How exciting!  
Sess: Who am I stuck with now?  
Bisho: INUTRASHA! WOOOOOOO

Sess: Goddamnedyou.

Disclaimer: Do not own nyfin.

"I Hate You"

"Do you think I love you, half-brother?"

"This is all your fault."

"Fine. Be an asshole. All I wanted to do was to get my phone."

"Which battery is flat, by the way. And you made me leave my phone in the car."

"How was I to know the janitor would come by and lock us in?"

"There's nobody else in school."

"Right. I knew that."

"At least the windows are open so we can breathe. I hate you."

"Stop saying that! HEY! We can jump out of the windows. This is only the third floor, after all."

"You do that and I'll be crying tears of joy at your funeral. Are you crazy or do you think we're superheroes?"

"You got any better ideas then?"

A weird ringtone is played.

"What the hell was that?"

"How am I supporsed to know? And please remind me why I'm carrying my little half-brother who I hate so much?"

Vibrating.

"It's your mobile phone, Inutrasha."

"Hello? Kik- It went dead!"

"Your phone is weird."

"Whatever."

"I Hate You. I mean you got us stuck here because you had to get your phone to talk to your precious Kikyou."

"I didn't ask you to follow me."

"But if I didn't, you'd do something stupid or crazy. Like jump out of the window, for instance. Which is why I hate you so much."

"Just shut up."

"I Hate You. Kagome's going to kill me."

"Well waddyah want me to do? Kill her?"

"Just wait for someone to rescue us idiot. And stop bothering me."

"Stop bothering me. Stop bothering me, he says."

END.

Bisho: How is it?  
Sess: Terrible.  
Bisho: Shuddup nincompoop.  
Sess:Loser.  
Bisho: Asshole.  
Sess: (Glares)  
Bisho: (Glares)  
Kag: (Pops out) Riiiight. Remember to review people!


	4. Chapter 4

I Hate You Chp 4.

Bisho: Konnichiwaaaaaa. Watashi wa Bisho desu. And today... Sesshy kun is stuck with SANGO!  
Sess: The stupid demon slayer?  
Kag: She's not stupid!  
Bisho: Yeah, not stupid!  
San: Yeah, I'm not stupid! (Hits Sess)  
BONK (Sess has passed out.)

Disclaimer: Inuyasha IS not mine.

"Why am I stuck with you?"

"Because you asked me to pick you up so that we could go to Kagome's house to set up the decorations. Why did you ask me and not your boyfriend? I hate you."

"Cause he's soooo pervertic he could grope and molest me anytime. No way I'm going to let him have that chance. NO WAY!"

"How pervertic do you think he is?"

"A Little."

"A LITTLE?! Even though I hate you, I shall be kind for once and tell you all the pervertic things he has done in the past. Firstly..."

Half an hour later...

"Finally, he thought about hot babes when we were stuck in the mall. You put us there, by the way, which is why I hate you so much."

Click.

"You guys are like so late. What are you two doing in here?"

"We thought we were stuck."

"And he was telling me all the perverted stuff Miroku did and why he hated me so much."

"Sesshoumaru! I've had enough! You stood me up 4 times because you got stuck or trapped and you always complain about how much you hate my friends! I'm breaking up with you!"

BONK!

"I think he passed out."

"Really? I was only kidding."

Something pops up.

"You were?!"

"Sesshoumaru! It is not polite to eavesdrop!"

"Sesshoumaru?"

"Yes, Sango?"

"I think you better run, fast."

"That's the best- no, only advice you've given me. I just hope Miroky can run as fast as me, or we'll all be attending his funeral cause Sango's gonna murder him."

"Yeah you'll all be attending his funeral cause I'm going to- HEY! What do you mean by that?"

"Sesshoumaru."

"Yes, Kagome?"

"You're gonna die."

Ten seconds of silence.

"I think this might be a good time for me to vanish. See you. Oh, and I hate you Sango."

END!

Bisho: I'm running out of ideas.  
Kouga: LEMME inspire you.  
Bisho: I'm inspired already! Sess will be stuck with Banky, Jackou(LOL), Kouga, Jaken, Rin, Stinkyou-  
Inu: Her name is Kikyou, not Stinkyou?  
Bisho: Shaddup.  
Inu: Wench Bisho: Inu?  
Inu: What?  
Bisho: You are going to hell. Permenantly.  
Inu: (Gulps and runs)  
Bisho: (Chases with Sess's sword)  
Sess: (Runs after Bisho for sword)  
Kag: EHEHEHEH! Review! 


End file.
